How Do I Describe My Amazing Neighbor…

We met when I was visiting my mom and he stopped by, at her request, to see why the vacuum wasn’t working. The answer was rats. Rats had chewed through the cord. He took the vacuum back to his place and replaced the plug where the cord had been chewed through. This left the unit with a short, but useable cord. Mom and I picked up the vac a day or two later. This is when I first saw his and his wife’s place. The funny thing about this vacuum is that it was my former husband’s. Mom needed a newer vac, and my kids hated this unit. They were only too happy to get rid of it. She was happy to adopt. She didn’t need its carpet cleaning inabilities, so it worked for her. Now it works for ‘fine’ cleaning on the barn floors. My AN facilitated this legacy vacuum’s future in a country kinda way. For mom the vacuum’s sudden irascibility was something she couldn’t address. For our AN, it was an easy fix. These are the skills and gifts you appreciate in the people in your life.

Our AN runs a full-on saw mill. There are the edges of logs that are sawn off on the way to creating useful timber. He and his wife use these to heat their home. After my father was no longer able to ‘put wood by,’ our AN kept my folks in firewood from these off cuts from the mill. He extracted my dad’s truck and tractor from the deep mud more times than I know about, and was always available for fixes that dad was no longer able to take care of.

He put time and materials into my mom’s handyman requests after dad passed, and took her heat with grace when presenting her with invoices up until mom hit his wife’s car in front of the bank, and then couldn’t remember doing so. Mom accused him of trying to scam her when he presented her with the repair estimate. She even told her doctor about the supposed scam. Doc called me, mainly to check mom’s story. AN called me in a rage. I thought we’d never be able to be in ‘relaxed’ company again, he was so furious. Telling him that this was Alzheimer’s talking to him rather than his neighbor did not calm him down.

Then mom landed in skilled nursing after doing in the second car, and three weeks later went into care off Island. I let him know right away. He drove through the property regularly, on his way from working for folks on our road, to get to his place, and would worry if he didn’t see signs of mom. During the time mom was in skilled nursing, our own friendship sprouted. He made sure I knew I could call with questions/concerns. I was a well/propane/ancient on-demand water heater, diesel heating stove newbie. He walked me through the water system, encouraged me to hook up the deep well, consulted, came down under the house with me (this guy has had a knee replaced) to fix multiple things) until he declared he was done spelunking under mom’s house, and then came down one more time to separate the two well systems, saying with abundant humor, “If we never see the underside of this house again it’ll be too soon.” He said the same thing about working under 1950’s sinks too, and then replaced one more faucet for me.

I have always treated him, and still do, with the utmost respect. Not that I’m stiff or formal, but making sure to make amends for my poor mom’s crumpled filters that had so offended him. Since moving through that time I felt I needed to show him that I had fallen far enough from the tree that he could trust me and my intentions. I’ve paid his bills same day. We’ve been good pals. This despite our political differences! He’s one of the very few people I know who are fairly opposite in their leanings from mine, and yet we can hear each other, acknowledge differences, learn something, and still be buddies.

One of the first things he did after mom moved off Island was to create the swale that diverts the creek to behind the drier shed. This way water doesn’t try to suck your boots off when carrying laundry from the house to the drier, November through June… When we bought Stella and texted him a picture, he was seriously excited. So much so that we arrived to a pad already constructed for the trailer! Then there was all the work for the utilities. In this we ran pipe from the ground well to the garden. We did it all over again this year when we bought Lady Jane Gray. His ingenuity getting LJG parked, hitch into the hillside, was brilliant. There were the 35 alders we took down, bucked, split and stacked. His plumbing rescue at the house this winter… The list is long and illustrious. He can pick and choose his work. That we have risen to the top of what he chooses to do in his work life is a blessing indeed.

I have kept him and his wife in plum jam. I’m kinda their dealer 😂. On my last trip up, he made sure the plum wasn’t suffering the indignities of tent caterpillars. They are very generous with their blueberries, year round. They freeze what they can’t eat. There’s some sort of magic that happens with oat milk and frozen blueberries over granola… We all sit from time to time and visit. He always has relevant experience to add to a conversation, as does she. She is a delight. Always positive, sweet, and supportive. They have lived an interesting life on their terms.

At this juncture I am hesitant to call. They must be overwhelmed. I’ll email. And pray.