Putting Words in My Mouth
I spent two days at my mom’s Island home this last week. Out of personal necessity, it was a fast trip. I made sushi for dinner and a wonderful neighbor joined us. It was a really nice evening. As things wound down for the evening, mom asked if we were having breakfast in the morning. I said yes we would enjoy a sushi remix AND I was visiting with Tim and Nancy in the morning, whose guest cabin I stay in while on the Island.
I woke early, read, wrote, packed up and cleaned the cabin. I got to the ‘big house’ around 9am. We spent the next 2 hours catching up. I knew I was walking a fine line, I was going to get in trouble like a 15 year old busting curfew. Mom finally called at 10:20 asking if my hosts had seen me. Tim, putting his nose almost to mine, said, Yes, he had and would mom like to talk to me. I told her I’d finish my tea and be over (about 7 minutes away). Well, I drank my tea slowly…
When I arrived at mom’s, shortly after 11, she was finishing her sushi. I felt bad. After making myself a plate of goodies I joined her at the table and started to read New Yorker daily calendar cartoons she’d saved for me. I shared the ones that were particularly entertaining with her. Suddenly she said, with clipped hostility, “I’m glad you had a nice time with Tim and Nancy. I eat between 9 and 9:30. It’s now after 11. You should have let me know if you were going to be so late.” I apologized and said she shouldn’t have waited for me, then let it go. She was sullen for a good 2 hours.
Upon my return home I received an e-mail saying I had Emphatically told her I’d be at her place for ‘Gourmet’ sushi breakfast between 9-9:30. Funny that Tuesday she asked me if I’d seen Tim & Nancy when I dropped my bag at the cabin. I told her I hadn’t and let her know I’d be seeing them Wednesday morning. She said 4-5 times Tuesday, “We can go see Tim and Nancy any time you like.” I reminded her of my Wednesday morning plans each time.
In replying to mom’s e-mail, I reminded her of my repeated reminders of my Wednesday morning plans, told her I had not been Emphatic about anything, particularly any timing and apologized, again. I should have been there earlier, however, one thing I find it VERY difficult to roll with, is having words put in my mouth to suit someone else’s distorted reality. Ommm, this I need to groove with as it’s only going to get worse, unless I revert to being a compliant 15 year old.