The Web

The Web is what we traverse while loving, interacting, protecting and jousting with our loved one with demenia, particularly when our loved one is 893% in denial of their diagnosis. The Web has smooth round oiled cables. Each one is attached to a moving surface with variable tension. While balancing with each foot on a different cable, we posture, twist and think three steps ahead, like when playing 8-Ball, in order to uphold and maintain the dignity and safety of our loved one, all while not pissing them off. The attachment points of The Web are the ever changing places our loved ones are in, month to month, week to week, day to day. We think we have a grip on how The Web is moving on its 3-demential axis, finally, and then something new erupts, changes, is physically medically altered, or our loved one’s compensatory skills take a hit due to dozens of possibilities. We are left desperately trying to hang on to the syncopated smooth oiled cables with every change.  

Well, no fucking wonder we caregivers are strung out, tired, depressed, anxious, over subscribed, stuck, suffer from some amount of ptsd, ‘fill in your blank.’ 

The key, I think, to sailing The Web is to Know it’s unpredictable. We must have sea legs and bare feet in order to cling to the oiled cables. Understand that the patient skates fluidly along those cables and we must learn to go with the flow both in order to keep up without expectation, and maintain our own equilibrium. 

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