Mom’s Heading Over
I’ll be picking mom up from the ferry terminal this afternoon. It’s been quite some time. Her summer was good. She’s in a better ‘place’ than she’s been since dad died. She’s stopped looking for him, talking about him in the present tense and seems less depressed. She’s still, to use her own word, scrambled about things a lot of the time. The flurry of phone calls in the last two days, for instance, are what I would expect, with her forgetting what we’d discussed (at her impetus) in the prior call/s. This morning she called at 8:30 to say her neighbors, who she’s driving off the Island with, were picking her up in 25 minutes for a boat that doesn’t leave the Island for 2.5 hours (too early to get in line for a Friday morning) and then described the boat by its arrival time rather than its departure time. When I asked her if she meant the 11:05 boat she said, “Yes, that’s what I said, or what I meant to say.” There was a distinct lack of her usual defensiveness. She wants to stay until Tuesday.
The reason she’s coming over is to discuss leasing out her Mainland house. She’s talked about it here and there but suddenly got super focused on it. I take this as a positive sign. Becoming my mom’s property manager will, hopefully, be routine after we get through the enormous effort of recombining two households (imagine absorbing a mostly furnished 1700 square foot house into a mostly furnished 1000 square foot house ~ some choices will have to be made, which dementia does not help with.), dealing some maintenance issues and having a, well, pre-estate sale (None of my dad’s shop material that mom doesn’t need/use is going back to the Island! Enough exists in the practically empty barns to remind her of that part of him.). The spreadsheets have been created. A flow to make the decision process easy (think the antithesis of overwhelming and confusing.) has been crafted. I have no time expectations regarding this project knowing that working through the initial phases will be akin to collaborating with a super smart person behind the facade of a youngster with mad ADD. It’s gonna take a while.
Time to stroll over to mom’s and turn on the furnace.