Trip With Mom, Part 1
On the 28th Mom and I went to Canada to attend the memorial for our friend’s son. Overall the trip was ok. As usual, it’s in the details that I see mom’s stitching coming loose, particularly when she’s away from her Island home.
In the week before the trip she asked me several times if we had plans the morning following the memorial. My only plan was to get back across the border early enough to assure getting her to the Island in time to ‘warm up the house’ and allow her space for the routines that are important to her.
Heading north was just fine. We made small talk and joked about making a break for the border.
We found the hotel, parked and ran smack into our friends in the parking lot. They were killing some time before the gathering and waited for us to get checked in so we could join them. Mom asked me 3 times what we were going to do. She was worried that there was only 2.5 hours between our arrival and the gathering.
Tim decided we’d go to a local botanical garden. It was only 6 or 7 blocks away. Mom asked me again what we were doing. It was as if she couldn’t put together a string of simple things we were getting up to over the next few hours (visit garden, change clothes at hotel, attend memorial). All she really focused on was the memorial and being on time. I assured her that we could follow Tim’s lead, being the father of the deceased.
Once at the garden mom relaxed a little bit. We strolled until coming across the visitor’s center, a beautiful LEED certified building. Inside was a cafe. Mom stopped and did a classic: Is anyone hungry? I’m Just asking!” This is a ‘line’ of hers – I’m Just asking, with emphasis on the Just. It’s mostly her way of being nosy (usually the line is used as a follow up when asking a question about other people) or passive-aggressive, as it was in this case. This was followed up with: I’m Just wondering! We don’t have to stop” Tim and his wife had just eaten a late breakfast. I was starving but wanted to see the garden. A quick calc told me mom hadn’t eaten for 6 hours. I diverted me and mom to the restaurant while wishing she could simply say: I realize I’m starving and need to eat. Here’s an opportunity. Does anyone want to join me?”
She ordered a quiche and within moments,, as usual, grumped “What could be taking so long.” The upside is she didn’t complain about the food.
We met up with Tim and his wife, headed back to the hotel and changed.
Next Up: Dinner, The Bar and A Bad Night’s Sleep