The posting schedule for this blog has been on an ‘as needed’ basis, whether that need has been my own, or a form of documentation of my mother’s path. I know I don’t need to document her regular ‘failings’ or ‘slips’ any longer. She is always going to complain about every meal she doesn’t cook for herself, will always forget what day and date it is, will always ask the same and repeated questions about what’s happening next, or her bank accounts, or whose going to be at the upcoming event, even tho I’ve e-mailed her, told her, and telegraphed her the details, she won’t be able to navigate from here to there, unless she’s been making the trip for 20 years, is going to be difficult to manage socially under certain circumstances, and will continue to mashup memories in her storytelling. We are solidly ‘here’ in the place where her dementia lives.
Going forward, the posting schedule will still be ‘as needed’ for me, but probably for only profound happenings regarding my mom. I find myself grousing about what makes me impatient and annoyed, which only gives those behaviors a larger life than they should have in terms of how I am affected by them. For the very same reason I don’t watch cell phone videos of cops shooting undeserving victims, or insane, robed men executing innocent human beings, I realize I must stop dwelling on what isn’t going to change with my mother, as it only serves to make me sad and unhappy, and gives those feelings more power than they should have. I need to get to a place where mom’s dementia fueled ire doesn’t affect me so negatively. I need a Teflon skin!
I’ll likely be posting a little less often, Dear Readers. May your state of mind be peaceful and balanced.