February 21, 2017, Pre-EEG

The last few days have, expectedly, seen a sharp increase in communication from mom, much of it repetitive to the point that I’ve let a number of her calls go to voice mail. Who knew that one’s voice mail system would become a crucial part of self-care? As a matter of fact, I won’t take any calls from mom this morning before I leave. She is convinced that once the results of the EEG are in, she will return the Island, despite being told inconclusive results=more tests. The dialog is unsustainable. 

My anxiety levels regarding today peaked early last evening before my two younger daughters, and members of their tribes joined us for dinner. Today, likely due to strong resolve to not take abuse from my mother, I’m feeling OK. Perhaps I’m getting a little better at compartmentalizing. Maybe…
A noticeable difference in my general anxiety is that it is now driven by events rather than existing in the background all the time. This has everything to do with mom. She isn’t driving a car (Thanks be to GOD), her medication routine is 110% perfect, she is safe. If we could mellow her out a little bit, sprinkle her with acceptance, and bathe her in a pool of calm, everything could be ok. Maybe…

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