Mom called yesterday morning. I let the call go to voicemail. Her message was simple. She wanted confirmation regarding which Thursday I was going to come see her, this one or the following. Next time she called, I confidently picked up the phone. After confirming when I’d next see her, the conversation went something like this:
Mom: I should be able to get our of here in a few days!
Me: You have a doctor’s appointment with Dr. O on the 27th…
Mom: What for (with hostility)?
Me: To go over the test results.
Mom: What test results?
Me: The EEG?…
Mom: The EEG is NEGATIVE! (With lots of hostility)
Me: Oh, and who did you hear that from?
Mom: I called Dr. O at Stevens (the hospital where the test was done) and he told me!
Dr. O does not work at or through Stevens hospital, which is what tipped me off to the fact mom was inventing her own reality again, but I kinda lost my cool at this point.
Me: Mom, if the test results are inconclusive, more tests need to be done.
Mom: THE RESULTS ARE NOT INCONCLUSIVE!!!!!!! (Screeching)
Me: Mom, we have to find out why you lost consciousness, twice, behind the wheel of two cars, totaling them.
Mom: I DID NOT LOSE CONSCIOUSNESS!!!!
Me: Yes, you did. We’ve had this conversation….
Mom: (Cuting me off) We HAVE NOT HAD THIS CONVERSATION!!!
Me: Mom, we have had this conversation 85 times, and the fact you don’t remember it is part of the problem…
Yup, my mother hung up on me. And were I her I would have too. She can’t handle having her version of reality questioned, and in that moment I failed because I so desperately needed her to join me in the reality she doesn’t have the capacity or willingness to acknowledge.