I hesitatingly went to an al fresco dinner at Mom’s community this evening, after deciding to attend just last night. After being sick 5 times in 5 months (the last two afflictions being the family curse, diverticulitis, which saps you of just about everything you’ve got), I was not feeling confident handling my mother’s shenanigans.
I arrived to observe Mom on the terrace enjoying the live music. She was settled at a table when I greeted her. She didn’t recognize me when I said “Hello.” I had to put my arm around her and say, “Hi Mom!” with a kiss before there was recognition. I excused myself to use the restroom, and upon returning, Mom greeted me anew. It’s like she hadn’t seen me the first time. Later my daughter and I were inside when Mom came up to us and asked her granddaughter, “Where’s your mom?” I was facing her, not 18″ away.
Mom asked me if we could go to her apartment to discuss a few things. After finishing my sangria, I stood up. Mom asked me what was next… We went to her apartment, and the following dialog took place:
Mom: This doctor (Dr. O) is supposed to get me into neurology, but its been taking weeks and weeks and weeks (it’s been 10 days, and neuropsychology is next) for him to arrange an appointment. I looked over my medical transcripts (which she doesn’t have), and saw that the recommendation for a neurologist came from Dr. G (her Island doctor). I called Dr. G and talked to him. He says that recommendation is old news, and there’s no need for me to see a neurologist. That means I can return to the Island immediately.
Me: Ah, Mom, we are following Dr. O’s diagnostic path to find out why you’re having memory problems, and why you passed out while driving and totaled two cars.
Mom: We KNOW why that HAPPENED!!
Me: No, Mom, we don’t know why that happened…
Mom: Now YOU LISTEN TO ME…..
Me: No, Mom, I am not going to listen to you. You are confabulating this. I know you believe what you are saying, but I don’t believe for a minute that you talked to Dr. G, and I will call him tomorrow (I emailed him this evening) to find out…
Mom: (interrupting me) You just sit there with that smile on your face….
At this point she became incomprehensible in her anger. I stood up, told her I was leaving, that I loved her, but would not take her verbal abuse. I said “Goodbye, I love you, Mom.” Three times as I walked out of her apartment.