Mom escaped yesterday. But she didn’t sneak out, she signed out, with a friend, and they went to an oyster bar on the water front. This is how the day unfolded:

Mom went to her granddaughter to say, “I’m going out to eat oysters with Adam this afternoon.” My daughter, knowing that Adam, mom’s oldest and dearest friend, lives in Switzerland, smiled and exclaimed what wonderful outing that would be.

A while later mom returned to her granddaughter’s office proclaiming that her Island doctor had been to see her the day before, and said, among other things, that she can never return to the Island, much less live independently. Mom, of course, was very upset by this turn of events. Mom went on to say she knows that some people suffer from brain difficulties, and she’s sure her Island doc has crossed that line.

At this point, my kid is thinking her grandma is having a challenging day given that Dr. G did not show up to see mom on Tuesday, nor did Adam hop a plane to take mom out for oysters.

At 4:19PM I get a very business like call from my daughter explaining that mom has left the community with a far more cognitively intact resident who still drives, and they were down at the oyster bar… Was I OK with this turn of events? As with so many things regarding my mom, I answered the question with questions: Are they safe? Are you OK with this? Who’s she with?

I spoke with my daughter a couple of hours later, after the adventurers had returned. Mom had gone out with Adam Smith. My daughter said, “Mom, she told me she was going out to oysters, and I thought she was being delusional!” It turns out these two went to the symphony three weeks ago!

My main concern was mom trying to talk her friend into taking her to the Island. I was assured that while he is a very nice and kind person, he’s not that nice! My take away from this is, were she still living on the Island, she wouldn’t have this friend, wouldn’t have gone to the symphony, or gone out to oysters. Also, that so long as she’s safe, letting her maintain this level of autonomy has to be good for her.

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