Regrets

The COVID-19 situation has benefitted me in one weird way. Due to mom’s AL community being off limits to all non-essential visitors (family included), I am otherwise alleviated of any regrets I might have had for not being able, or simply not, seeing her during the last 3+ months of her life.

There were times that I did not see her for months at a time. She didn’t miss me when I wasn’t there, was very occupied with activities and friends, and when I was there, she was hell on wheels! There was that rule… I wasn’t to visit her alone as she was so hard on me. I am thankful that changed.

I am thankful that Abilify erased her anxiety.

I am thankful in the last 18-months of her life, she was so much more relaxed and easy to communicate with.

Even though it was born out of her increased need for medical care, I am thankful I got to see her a little more than I otherwise would have last year.

And even though it was due to having to take Elvis away for her safety, I’m grateful this sad turn of events afforded some additional visits before the community shut down.

While it was hard not to see mom on her 85th birthday, how amazing that technology allowed us to say hello? And let mom connect with us in other ways.

I am most thankful for our phone call on Mother’s Day. It was easy, and kind. It was my final 20-minutes with my mother. It really is true, treat those you love with kindness as you never know when you’ll be having that last conversation. Have no regrets.

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