A Friend’s Anger

I have a friend who has been angry about something since we hit adulthood. I’m unsure if she knows she’s angry. She might admit to being self-righteous, certainly right. As the years have gone by, and our kids have taken wing, we don’t see each other or talk as much as we used to. We spent some time on the phone earlier this year, and it was lovely. She checked, what I can only call her agenda/s, before calling.

When asked recently how the state of the world was effecting me, aside from losing my mom, I replied that I was sheltering myself from it. I have enough to deal with, and a face full of ‘the world’ multiple time a day was more than I can handle. It troubles me and makes me sad. The ways in which I can/am willing to effect the ills of our world are mainly financial. How do I spend my money? Who do I give it to? What causes do I support? From presidential campaigns to which hardware store (based on their political affiliations) I shop at… It’s what I can do. It’s what I have the energy for.

My friend is an outspoken advocate on social media for everything that she thinks is wrong with the world. It’s to the point that she doesn’t address the shades of grey. Not all cops are bad. Not every person of color is an angel (and certainly not every white person is either), not all protesters are peaceful, not every republican is corrupt, and not every democrat walks the perfect path. But to her, police should be defunded, protesters protected no matter what they do, and all political affiliations that are to the right of her ideology are in need of deprogramming. And she’s fucking furious about it.

It’s not just politics/societal problems either. The first time I saw her being very judgmental toward another friend, after his mother had passed, my jaw dropped. And when devastation hit his life once more, she was again blaming and judgmental.

While she values our community, and professes love for all, I am starting to wonder if this anger, which I can only imagine comes from a place of needing to be in control, is eroding her wellbeing.