I found a letter from mom to her old college roommate, who became a life long friend, while sorting archives. After mom died, I tried to get ahold of this friend without success. Finding this letter made me double down. I found her roommate’s son and messaged him through Facebook. We talked last night.
Turns out his mom also has dementia. I immediately said that we shouldn’t tell his mom about my mama’s passing. He completely agreed. I shared that a few friends of mom’s had passed away after she went into care, and I decided not to tell her… It was a kindness Not to let mom experience such a loss over and over.
Turns out Shell lives a couple of ferry rides from us. We’ll work on getting together for a visit next year. It was a delight to dial into just how long it had been since we’d seen each other (at least 40-years).
I love how our collective parents’ strong ties hold us together collectively all these year later. Our parents’ forged a tribe that we get to return to at will. 💜