Dana’s husband called today to let me know she passed yesterday. We talked for 2.5 hours. They were so well suited for each other, both conversationalist. He walked me through her last week, details that the bereaved need, and deserve to share. It wasn’t all bad, and it wasn’t all easy, but she finally had landed in a care facility he, and she, were happy with. He was with her when she left.
He shared with me that I was the only one she’d kept in touch with from work. Her beloved boss had passed before she retired, and another person at the office she cared very much for committed suicide while on a trip with a family member, who was taking her to mental health institution. Dana was devistated.
Dana and her husband didn’t have kids and their extensive family is back east. There are dear neighbors, and close friends here. Her husband told me lots of wonderful family stories, including what I knew about them taking care of Dana’s mom who had Alzheimer’s. It increased my knowledge of my friend, where she came from, what informed who she became. As much as I was there for Jeff today, he gave me new and sweet views into Dana.
Dana and I enjoyed lunch at a place across the street from our office. We always ordered the same things, and relaxed into what became an occasional and comforting repass. Her cats’ shenanigans, my kids latest milestones, her insights, my mom’s struggles… Gardening, quilting, pastimes. I felt at home much of the time I spent with Dana, and the times I didn’t it was because she was challenging me, mostly about things to do with my mom. She’d been there and done that while I was still figuring it out. I get it now.
I’ll say it again… Do all the things, say all the words, have all all the experiences 💕.