August 2022 Island Trip – Day 4

We did very little productive today, as it should be on one’s anniversary. A farmer’s breakfast, lots of lounging and reading… Our knife sharpening buddy stopped by to pick his latest assignment and looked at the big mower, which he can fix faster and for less money than the local repair shop. After hanging up a load of laundry to dry we headed to town for a memorial for a dear friend of my parents.

The decedent was also close to our neighbor to the east and Tim and Cindy, as well as a whole lot of other people. She was Buddhist and walked the talk, as well as being an amazing ceramic and collage artist. After the gathering we were both left feeling, profoundly, what an impact she had on the community, and further that we need to continue forth with our lives in such a way as to leave such grace in our wakes. The stories we heard of how kind, present, and wise she was were incredibly impactful. Some were told with tears, some with laughter, all heartfelt. It was the kind of gathering you walk away from thinking, “I hope my tribe talks about me just like this when my time comes.” And then you think deeply about how to be that sort of person.

Aside from email and a couple of phone conversations, I only met this community icon once. She invited me to the Buddhist retreat center on the Island where she’d recently built a tiny house. We had tea and talked about mom. What we could possibly do to support mom. She listened to my fears, encompassed them, without making me feel ‘wrong’ like some had. She and Tim took mom to look at apartments fall of 2014 or 2015, hoping to get her to move closer to town, if even just for the winter so mom wouldn’t have to struggle keeping the house warm. Mom would have none of it. After today I can focus on all this from a point of view of my mom’s friends trying to help her rather than mom refusing their help.