And in Other News
Because life is not solely about my mother’s dementia, tho it feels that way a lot, here is a short list of other things that round out my life: The garden is further along this March than it’s ever been in the 15 Marches we’ve owned the property. The fountains are back up, irrigation is […]
Driving
Mom received a letter from the State regarding her driver’s license. They are canceling it per State Code This & That, which references, Code Such & Such, subsection Yada, Yada. This is born of our visit to the neurologist, who filled in a diagnosis code on the state form (his ethical duty) and the State […]
Matriarch
Growing up in the 60’s and 70’s in our small nuclear family of three, I was fairly insulated from classic societal family values. That’s not to say we weren’t full of very solid values; they were, if anything, progressive. Mom was the income earner, my folks didn’t get married until I was eight, and when […]
Diagnosis
Alzheimer’s. That’s what the doctor is calling it. He felt the word would be graspable for mom while offering me “dementia” or “cognitive decline” as the result to present her with. I couldn’t argue with his logic. The MRI shows vastly reduced hippocampus volume and two old hemorrhages. My limited knowledge of Alzheimer’s (tho likely […]
Neurology
I got mom through a visit to the neurologist and an MRI today. She responded much better to the tall tale I told to get her there than I thought she would. She never questioned that we’d talked about going to the specialist. She offered, “I must be scrambled. I have no recollection of talking […]
The Hunt for Red October
To paraphrase: The last few days have seen some remarkable activity…. If you’re a fan of the movie, you’ll get it. If not, trust me. In the wake of the Alzheimer’s Association calling APS regarding my mother’s driving, I called her and suggested that she walk on to the ferry (rather than drive) and I’d […]
Support Group Fail
Beware what you share as a caregiver with The Alzheimer’s Association. The one on one counseling may seem helpful and supportive but it was aggressively used against me and may damage my relationship with my mother. The person who offered advice and support has called Adult Protective Services regarding my mother’s driving, tearing the process […]
Grief
I realized yesterday, likely aided by 4 nights of very little sleep, that I haven’t had the space to grieve for my father. Literally, as he died, he handed me the reigns of being my mother’s caregiver. Until that moment she had his care as her focus. While she had been combative, and at times […]
Stealth Trip to the Island
Happy New Year! April 15th is just around the corner and guess who did four (4!) (Really, 4) years of her parents taxes last year? Why, yes! You are SO perceptive! It was me!! Oh, and my daughter’s (easy), and mine and my husband’s (not easy). Six returns for someone who hung up her tax […]
Should I Stay or Should I Go Now
This song by The Clash is an apt title for what happens when my mom decides to go from one house to the other. She has a very hard time gearing up to get out the door. She makes excuses for the delay in her departure. The weather. Not being able to gather what she […]
Dementia Dance - Travels with Mom 